Whether you’re thinking about quitting alcohol or you’ve already started, the journey to sobriety is never an easy one. But the reality is that once you make the decision you will find so many incredible benefits, that you couldn’t even have contemplated before. Never mind the positive impact on your mental and physical health because sobriety truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
If you’re in the early days and not yet feeling the joy, then hold tight because we promise it is coming and there are rainbows on the other side. During your first 12 months there are so many epic moments, and you should be proud of each one you tick off. So, we thought it would be an interesting idea to create a sober bucket list of the top events or things that people do when they’re sober. You may even have ticked some of these items off already.
For those of you panicking that life will now be dull and awkward, then we’re here to tell you that it won’t be. Things will change and you will grow throughout this journey, in ways you didn’t even imagine, but it will get easier.
Our Sobriety List of Things to Do
Dance Sober
If you find this one a terrifying thought, then fear not because it is possible to dance sober.
- We would recommend leaving this one until you’re a little further into your sobriety, especially if you’re an anxious person.
- Remember that when everyone else is drunk, they won’t even be watching you and grading your dancing skills.
- If at first you’re scared to dance freely then why not fake it till you make it. The more you dance the more of those happy hormones will be released and give you a natural high. Most people’s musical instincts appear when their favourite tunes come on and the urge to move kicks in.
- Become self-aware of your inhibitions, they are completely normal, and they can be changed. But remember that everyone feels the same initially, so don’t punish yourself. If you’re self-conscious at first, then why not close your eyes and get into the music.
- For those of you who feel like you don’t know how to dance anymore, then throw in some funky moves and make it funny. At the end of the day all everyone wants on a night out is to have fun.
- You will get tired quicker than you did when you drank and probably ache more. So, make sure you have regular time outs to relax and take in the atmosphere.
Going to the Pub with Friends
If the pub was your go to drinking spot then the thought of heading back there can be incredibly triggering.
- Firstly decide whether hanging out at pubs is what you even want to do. There’s nothing wrong with putting old norms behind you and changing who you are in the future. Your friends will either accept the new you, or you’ll discover new ones; and yes, that is possible.
- Alike the dancing one it maybe that you need to wait until you gain confidence in your sobriety. Although we met with friends in a bar around one week into being sober. It will depend on your individual feelings and it’s ok to go home if you find it triggering when you are there.
- Acceptance is a big side of sobriety, because you may have a little anxiety and awkwardness, but that is totally normal. The likelihood is it will feel very different, but you will discover new benefits to the sober version of you. Your connections to your friends will be deeper, because you will remember what they say and probably ask them more about their lives. Most people when they drink are selfish, which means we’re not taking in any words or emotions.
- You can either contact the bar beforehand or ask when you arrive what alcohol free options they have. Most will have beer and cider as a minimum, but if the bar tender is good, they can normally whip up a mocktail.
- If you’ve chosen to keep your sobriety to yourself, then it maybe better to tell the people you’re going to meet. This means that when you’re at the bar, they wont deluge you with a million questions about your decision. You could always ask the bar tender for a glass instead of holding the bottle, so your friends won’t realise your drink is alcohol free. More so if you don’t feel ready to tell anyone. We found it easier to just announce our decision on Facebook after two weeks of being asked why we weren’t drinking, but it’s a deeply personal decision.
- One of the many benefits to being sober is the fact we can now drive to events, but if you don’t then make sure you have a get out option. This is for those moments when you may feel triggered or uncomfortable. It could be that you need a few moments of peace to relax and decompress, so just head to a quiet space like the toilets or outside.
- As with most things, the more you go out the easier it gets. We’re now at the stage where it feels completely normal, depending on who we are out with.
- Because you’re not drinking you can pack your weekends full of amazing nights out and get togethers, because you don’t have to consider the hangovers.
Sober Vacation
Most people’s idea of a vacation includes, sea, sand and cocktails, so is it possible to have a great time without booze? Of course, it is.
- As with many of the life events we will mention, just consider the type of trip you want to book and whether it would be triggering. If you’re in the early stages, then an all-inclusive resort may not be the best idea. Take time to work out if you want to go away at all, but remember it’s only for a short time because it will get easier.
- The hardest part of your first sober vacation is breaking those traditions. This could be cocktails on the beach, beer in the airport or sampling the local spirits. We fully admit to having a childish tantrum on our first vacation, but once we realised how important being sober was then it quickly subsided.
- For your first trip its important that you have a travel partner who completely supports your sobriety and will rationalise and calm you down when things get tough.
- Find other versions of a treat! We’ve decided to go clothes shopping in which ever country we go to and now have a wardrobe mixed with some awesome clothes, which remind us of our travels.
- Once you arrive in your resort or destination then ask at the hotel bar what af drinks are available. Also head to the local supermarket and check out what they have on offer. We have known of people who take af drinks with them, in fact we took Gordons pink gin on our first trip which was a cruise.
- You may find that you have a little more time during your trip than you used to do, because normally you’d have spent a lot of time drinking or hungover. So why not do some research before you leave on local things to do and activities.
- The most important element is to be kind to yourself and take time out if you need it. If the hotel has a spa, that’s a great idea to relax and get away from everything.
Christmas Sober
Many consider this the most difficult event on the yearly calendar, but it is possible to succeed and enjoy the festive season.
- Can I make it through Christmas without drinking? Will I enjoy it? These are the questions that will go through every sober person’s mind as they venture towards their first winter season. The answer is yes if you have prepared yourself and made plans which support your sobriety.
- We mention preparation again because it is important, as you need to determine what you are ready for. This will depend on the stage of sobriety you’re in because the early days can be triggering. It maybe that you just ignore the festive season for one year and say no to Christmas parties and get togethers. On your second Christmas you will feel much stronger and confident to socialise.
- It’s also important to consider who you spend the festive season with, because Christmas can be stressful anyway. You want to make sure that you are with people who encourage your sober choices.
- Plan and prep for any parties and the big day! Buy in the alcohol free drinks and make sure you have a stash just in case you feel the winter blues and get a craving. Any diets tend to be put on hold during Christmas, but even more so when it is your first sober one. So, make sure you have plenty of snacks in as well, because crisps and chocolate is better than alcohol.
- Break those traditions because they can be the triggers which lead to you drinking again. To do that, you have to recognise what your traditions are. Think about your Christmas morning, does it involve a glass of Baileys? Then you could swap it for a luxury hot chocolate and add marshmallows or caramel syrup. If you have champagne during your Christmas dinner, then drink Nozeco instead. There are plenty of alternatives to make life easier and help crush those cravings. We even bought board games and spent the day playing them with the family. The main goal is to not drink, so you do what you have to, to get through.
- One of the keys to getting through Christmas is to make sure you take emotional breaks in peace and quiet. Go for a walk if you need to or head somewhere where you can take a moment to refocus. If you find things triggering then just say no thank you, because knowing your boundaries will help build your sober confidence.
Coming Out as Sober
We’ve mentioned this above, but it’s so important that it needs a section of its own. Many people struggle with telling friends and family because of the stigma attached to alcoholism.
- The first thing we would say is that the decision of who to tell and when to tell them, is completely down to you. You will be able to gauge when the time is right and who you trust to support your sobriety. Sometimes that isn’t the closest people to you, because we have had unsupportive family members, but friends who cheered for us. It’s easy for us to say, but be proud of your sobriety, because you have made an incredible decision for your body and mental health.
- We found that by telling everyone we had quit drinking, it stopped many of the questions or comments such as ‘but you didn’t drink that much’ and ‘you can have one though.’ Our method was to announce it on social media, but again everyone is so different.
- If you’re not ready to tell people, then you can make the usual excuses such as being on antibiotics or ask the bartender to pour the af drink in a glass so no on will know.
- You will find that the majority of people will be so supportive and simply want the best for you. For others, as long as you aren’t affecting their drinking then they won’t really care.
- If you are questioned by anyone about your decision and they diminish your reasons, then simply walk away. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone or stand there and provide reasons for your sobriety.
Sober Wedding
Another event which is sadly heavily tied to alcohol and drinking traditions. During our sobriety we have attended a wedding and found this to be more challenging than expected for different reasons than you may assume.
- Yep, you guessed it, preparation is the best way to enjoy a sober wedding. Ours began at 12 o’clock so it was a long day and we wanted to make sure we had everything covered. We asked the venue if they had Nozeco or if we would be allowed to bring some. They kindly agreed we could bring our own, so we didn’t stand out during the meal or toasts. On top of that we took our favourite snacks and nibbles because it helped when we felt awkward or suffered from any cravings.
- The best part of being sober at a wedding is that you are fully present, so you can enjoy all of the emotions of the day and conversations with other guests. But on top of that you can help and support the bride and groom should they need it.
- Make sure that through the day you take moments to relax, mentally and emotionally. Part of sobriety is learning to deal with emotions both up and down, but if they become too overwhelming then having a break is the best option. Head to the toilets or outside and find a quiet spot, we’ve been told of others sober friends who have gone and sat in their car for 10 minutes. They explained that it reinvigorates them to go back in and enjoy themselves. To some it may sound dramatic, but we are relearning so much without having alcohol to numb our feelings.
- If you’re a day guest to the wedding then you may find as it wears on, that you feel increasingly tired. Everyone else will be building up for the party because the alcohol is kicking in, where as you may feel a little depleted. We forced ourselves to stay until midnight when really, we should have left at 10 o’clock when we were ready. Our advice is not to pressure yourself to stay up, because that’s what you would have done in the past. If you’re there all day then take it easy, and if you’re ready then head home because the reality is when everyone is drunk, they won’t even realise you are gone.
- If you’re an evening guest then have a nap in the afternoon before you go, which will help get you through.
House Party or a night in with Friends Sober
House parties are particularly difficult because of the ease in which you can access alcohol and the big measures which can be poured.
- Our memories of house parties always end with blackouts and the worst hangovers. So, our first sober house party was anxiety inducing, because we were worried we would be triggered. In reality we found it incredibly easy, again because we prepped well. We took lots of Nozeco and alcohol free drinks, as well as snacks for through the night. We feel this is the key to any event, because you have to make sure you have enough options that you’re not enticed by any of the alcoholic versions.
- As with the other events, make sure you have the option to leave if you need to, or head to a quiet space to decompress. House parties can mean lots of talking, which is fine if you’re drunk and blathering on, but it can be draining for a sober person. That’s why having a few minutes alone can make a huge difference.
- Head home when you’re tired and don’t feel like you have to stay because everyone else is. Weirdly after the not so good experience we had during our first wedding, we found the house party much easier and stayed up until 2am. The company you are with can make a huge difference to how easy or hard you find an event, so choose wisely.
Go to a Gig or Festival Sober
When we think about festivals and gigs our brains immediately think of booze, because for many it’s the opportunity to get wasted and dance around to their favourite bands.
- The joy of attending a gig or festival sober is you can experience the full emotions and remember them. Although we haven’t been to a festival sober we have attended a few gigs and all of them have been incredible.
- We would suggest that you leave attending a festival until later on in your sobriety as you will be surrounded by alcohol and drunk people which can be triggering. If you decide to go, then firstly be patient with yourself and realise that you may feel a little uncomfortable at times.
- Most arenas or festivals will offer af options, but if you want to be sure then contact them in advance. Because you’re not drinking booze you will be saving a fortune, so why not treat yourself to some merchandise when you’re there.
- If you’ve read the rest of the guide then you’ll realise now that taking breaks really helps in your sober journey. If it all gets too much, then head to the toilets or somewhere quiet. If you’re at a festival and staying in the campsite, then head there to chill every so often.
- Take ear plugs to dull down the volume, because a lot of places can be incredibly loud and you’re sober enough to realise that.
- Consider who you are going to the gig or festival with, because at the times when you need support, you want to be sure that they will have your back and not tempt you to drink.
Sober New Years Eve
This one is very similar to the Christmas period, and for most it seems unimaginable celebrating New Year without Alcohol.
- Depending on where you’re celebrating make sure you have access to alcohol free drinks. We went to a family members home so took our af drinks with us.
- If you’re staying in then have a plan for the night, for example playing games. This means you won’t have time to think about booze because you’ll be enjoying yourself.
- Stay away from people who you find triggering or situations such as arguments. Your sobriety is more important than other people’s disagreements.
- If the thought of New Years Eve is too much, then why not stay at home and celebrate on your couch. It’s one year and we promise you that your confidence will grow and you’ll be ready for the next one.
Pour Someone Else an Alcoholic Drink
What may seem inconceivable is actually possible, and probably a lot easier than you imagine.
- This will be something that you may do when you’re further into your journey. We were 6 months in and did it on Christmas day to help out, it was afterwards we realised what a big deal it was.
- Don’t feel pressure to touch, smell or go near alcohol if you find it triggering and only be around friends and family who support your sobriety.
- You will get to a point where you realise how damaging alcohol is and even when it’s in front of you, you won’t want to drink it.
Sober Hen and Stag Nights
Is it even possible to attend a hen or stag night sober and how can you do so without relapsing?
- As with the other bucket list items, it will all depend on the place you’re at in your sobriety journey. You will know how delicate you feel around alcohol or other people drinking alcohol.
- If you feel like you’d struggle, then don’t be afraid to tell your friend that you cannot make it. If you’re uncomfortable then be honest with them, because a true friend will support your sobriety. They may even plan another event non-alcohol related just for you.
- One of the important things you realise when going sober, is that you will find the confidence to set boundaries. This means that when you don’t want to do something you won’t, or if you want to go home then you’ll feel strong enough to say you’re off. Many of us still want to people please in the early days and this can make it a more difficult experience.
- As with many of the other items on the list, ensure you have lots of breaks where you find a moment to collect your thoughts and breathe.
- Have options to get away just in case it gets a little too much. It may be sensible to stay away from hen and stag parties abroad, until you feel more stable.
- If you’re going to a specific restaurant or club, then maybe contact them to ensure they have af drinks options.
Go to a Nightclub Sober
Another one we have ticked off, but in all honesty it wasn’t high on our sober bucket list.
- The first question we’d ask is whether this one is something you really want to do? It’s normal to change what you enjoy in life, and if that means you don’t want to head to nightclubs then that’s ok. We went to a sober rave with Flamingo AF and Dry Wave, which we really enjoyed. The tunes were amazing, as was the atmosphere, but it made us realise we probably wouldn’t go to a normal nightclub because it was so loud, and we know drunk people would annoy us.
- This is another one that may not be wise in the early days of your journey, because you’re around a lot of drunk people and alcohol. It can be quite triggering, especially if you’re feeling awkward and uncomfortable. The stronger you feel and the more confidence you have in your sobriety, the easier it will be. Being sober means you have to find new ways to interact and experience life, so it’s worth thinking about whether you’ve changed in regard to your interests.
- Bearing in mind what we said above, prepare for the noise with ear buds to make it more bearable. It’s crazy how much louder the music is when you’re sober and it can ruin the night.
- If the club doesn’t offer much in the way of alcohol free drinks then it may be best to stick to water anyway and keep yourself hydrated.
- Also, if you get tired but your friends want to stay then that’s fine, don’t feel like you’re missing out because in all honesty you won’t be and you won’t have to see the drunken messy end of the night.
- It’s hard to find places to get a few minutes to relax, but you can always head to the smokers area and pretend to be talking to someone on your mobile so people leave you alone.
- Because you haven’t numbed your body then you’ll find dancing will make you ache faster than it use to, so take it slow and just enjoy the feeling of being out.
Asked By a Medical Practitioner if you Drink
You’ve ticked those days off in your sober calendar and you’re feeling proud as punch. Imagine how you’ll feel when someone asks if you drink!
- This is something you will have dreaded in the past, because we’ve all had that panic and tried to come up with a number of units that sounds realistic but not too much. Imagine being able to tell your doctor or a medical professional that you don’t drink and how long it’s been since your last drink. So far, we have filled in medical documents and felt so proud to be able to tick the zero column.
Attending a Sports Event
This is an important one, because we recently heard that sobriety can be harder for men due to societal pressures.
- During most sporting events there is an expectation that alcohol will be present, especially for men where beer culture is the norm. The connection between sports and booze is almost ritualistic, so we’re sure you’re wondering how you can enjoy your favourite sports again without it.
- The most important first step is to choose your friends wisely, especially if you’re surrounded by others drinking in a pub or sporting arena. You need to know they have your back if you felt triggered and that they could talk to you about it without judgement.
- It maybe that in the early days it is best that you watch any games at home, so you can break the connection between sports and alcohol. As your confidence grows then you can head to the pub and order an af beer with pride.
- If you’re heading to a stadium then check online if they offer af drinks or contact them in advance. For those watching a game at a friends house then take plenty of your favourite drinks and lots of nibbles to keep those cravings at bay.
- Once the game starts you’ll find yourself absorbed by the atmosphere, but if there are any moments where you’re struggling then leave to find a quiet spot and take a few moments to relax.
- The crux of it all is to try and remember why you love watching that sport in the first place. Enjoy the feelings of winning or commiserating because that’s the beauty of life.
Sober Hobby
You’ll be shocked to find that when you choose sobriety, you’ll have more time on your hands. You’re no longer wasting your time drinking or dealing with those dreaded hangovers.
- Probably your first question will be, what are you going to do with all this spare time. Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?
- There are hundreds of hobbies available, and you can check out this bucket list site which has detailed the main ones, just to make life a little easier.
- Because you’re not damaging those brain cells every day or week, you’ll find you have a greater capacity to take in new information. So, use it to learn something that brings you passion and enjoyment. Also, because you’re not spending a fortune on alcohol, you’ll have the money to use on your hobby. Whether it’s buying an instrument or paying for classes. Who better to invest your money in, than yourself!
- Hobbies are also a great way to meet new people and increase your social circle. There’s something special about having friends who share the same passion as you.
Start a Sober Podcast
This one won’t be for everyone, but you may feel like you can contribute to helping out others on their sobriety journey.
- Starting a podcast isn’t that difficult, especially if you feel like you have a lot to say about the topic. Most of the podcasters we listen to are not sobriety experts, they’re people like you and me who have been through the various experiences. You can always Google how to start a podcast and you’ll find tons of advice.
- In addition to helping others, you will find that expressing your feelings about the various aspects of your journey can be quite cathartic.
Get Breathalysed
This is similar to the doctors one, because for most people the thought of being pulled over by the police is terrifying.
- How many times have you driven home hoping that you don’t get stopped by the police, because you’re worried you may be over the limit. The freedom of driving whenever you want and wherever you want, is one of the great parts of being sober. For many being breathalysed and passing is another sign of their sobriety success.
Get Healthy
Most people who make the decision to get sober, tend to want to improve their health overall. We have been astounded by some of the sober journeys we have seen on social media pages.
- We’ll start by saying that your focus in the beginning should be on staying sober, so if that means your diet isn’t great then that’s fine. As long as you’re not drinking then you will be healing your body.
- Once you become confident with your sobriety then you’ll look at making changes. We have seen friends make fundamental shifts in their diets for example to veganism. Some have focused on building strength and muscle, whereas others have taken the mental wellness route with the likes of yoga and meditation.
- What you do is completely your decision when you are ready, but we would suggest you make small changes rather than huge steps. By making baby steps you will have a greater chance at forming habits which lead to long term success.
- Listen to podcasts, read books, and follow people on social media who you enjoy and resonate with.
- You can also use some of the pennies saved from not buying booze, to treat yourself to gym classes, massages or even online apps such as
- The results we have seen have been astounding and validation that the sober journey is worth it.
Attend Sober Meet Ups
This maybe something you haven’t considered, but it has significantly impacted our sobriety as we discussed in our article ‘My Sober Community’.
- In the beginning you tend to want to bury your head and just get through the days. Our advice would be to open yourself to others who understand what you’re going through.
- Begin by interacting with people on closed social media groups such as Club Soda Together and starting your own Instagram page which is purely for you to meet other sober people. Here you can ask for help when you need it and celebrate those mile stones.
- Once you find your confidence then you may want to consider meeting others. There are lots of sober meet ups arranged everywhere, simply ask on your Intsa page or the Facebook groups and see if anyone knows of one.
- If you’re in the UK then Bee Sober is a great place to start, and of course you can always join an Alcoholics Anonymous group, but some people feel uncomfortable with this as they don’t class themselves as alcoholics. Or you could try and Google sober meet up and the area you’re in and see what comes up.
- We have made lasting friendships through our sober meet ups and incredible connections which have made the journey much easier. Of course, at first you will feel a little nervous, but don’t worry because everyone else feels the same. The fact you all have such a huge thing in common, namely sobriety, will make it much easier and you’ll find that the conversation simply flows. The interesting part is that most people’s experiences will be so similar to yours and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in your feelings.
Help Others Get Sober
For us this is one of the more important items, so we’ve left it until the end.
- Once you’re comfortable then you’ll want to help others who were in a similar position to you. It’s great to pass on everything you have learnt to others who are struggling with those early stages. The fact they can see you thrive is a wonderful feeling and will help bolster your sobriety.
- They maybe someone from your friends and family, or a new friend you’ve made on social media. The impact of your experiences can help them make sense of the feelings they’re having and give them an idea of what to expect. Knowing that what you have experienced could help someone else, makes the difficult days worthwhile.
- If you’re confident enough then we always recommend that you post your successes online, so you can show others how amazing being sober is. We call it ‘being the lighthouse’, where you shine so brightly that others will be attracted to you.
- Help friends by telling them about quit lit books which really helped you or podcasts, and provide them with influencers to follow, so that they have all the information needed to stop drinking.
- It’s an incredible feeling to help others, but if you’re feeling triggered or sensitive then remember your sobriety is important and you should take time out to look after yourself.
Thinking of a bucket list for sobriety may seem weird, but why not tick off your achievements as you do them. Each event we have mentioned above is an incredible success and something that should be celebrated. You can always add your own personal extras to your sober bucket list, then as you grow simply add more. Fulfilling each of these items will help progress you through your journey and enrich your life.
Bear in mind we have added in our own personal experiences on most of these events. Don’t let them put you off if we struggled, because everyone will be different, and each experience will be unique. It will depend on how far into your sobriety you are and a myriad of other factors.
We wish you luck with your sobriety and be proud of the decision you have made, because we think you are amazing!